I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it's like iHOP with fire
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
