I would go down on you faster than GM stock
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
