Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
