At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So much rum. So many feels.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
