the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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