Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
