i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
