no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
