His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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