U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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