Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
