Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
