well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we should paint friendship bongs
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