All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
