I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
