Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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