you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize