If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think im going to throw up on grandma
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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