we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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