how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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