Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
