What did we do last night that was yellow?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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