I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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