I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
