im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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