and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Everything about him screamed your future.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
