she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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