We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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