it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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