Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Be still, my beating vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
