you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
