pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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