Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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