Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
