Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
