Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
