it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
