i just google imaged poop.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
