You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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