D3 body, D1 cock
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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