that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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