I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
honey bunches of taint.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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