pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
