still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
