Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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