I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
