I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
