Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
