It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
