Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
