Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
