I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
