For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You need a sexual gate keeper
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
