omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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