Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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