Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
