for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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