the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
