you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
